Seconds of Rejection
by Ashia Yifei 07
Summary: Loving a person doesn't always mean you're happy with it. It might just be the exact opposite. WILL UNDERGO REVISION
1. The Tandem

**Seconds of Sorrow**

**Hi there!! This my very first fanfic so pls. be kind..but i wholeheartedly accept constructive criticisms..and sorry for the layout of my story..since i'm a beginner..i don't really know how should i manipulate the functions here..so bear with me..thank you**!!

**uhm..Rated T just to be safe..**

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" _I've tried to be best enough for you.. though I know you hate me like dirt..but still I ended up the worst.., as what you always say."  
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"Oh..the hell.. i can't believe it, I'm stuck with someone like you!" Mikan pouted.

" Same to you," Natsume replied nonchalantly.

" You know what, if not for the sake of our mission, I won't even bother to stay!" she retorted.

" Then, forget the hell mission and go away, I don't need you.." he rejoined.

" As if I need you, you arrogant brat!" Mikan was now balling her fist. In any moment she could erupt explosively just like an active volcano.

Mikan and Natsume are famous to be enemies, the tandem you would fear to know and meet. Even though they're already grown-ups.. actually 18 years old..they still have those childish fights, those endless scuffles..that really makes them popular..,in the case of Mikan since Natsume, even without those, he's indeed famous. It's like the whole terra will be destroyed when an argument between them is started. But their parents simply can't help it. There is no space for the fact that they're best friends yet their children are the complete opposite. So, they built a plan for the two to somehow appease with each other. That is accomplishing a mission, killing Persona, who has been the rusty knife in their life. A consequence will be bestowed up them if they will not work together and if they won't cease those fights. But the consequence is yet to be known.

Tired of hearing the screams.. particularly of Mikan…she decided to appear intentionally. After all, she has known the two very well for she is the mother of Mikan, Yuka Azumi.

"Mikan, dear, how are you doing?" she asked sweetly.

Mikan was shocked. Natsume well..half-shocked .

"oh, well..uhm..mother, I'm . Natsume and I are fine,"she managed to stutter.

Grinning sheepishly of what was currently happening, she also decided to show herself since she hasn't appeared for quite a long time..actually for a week only. She is the mother of Natsume, Kaoru Igarashi.

"Natsume, how's your day, son?" she asked gently.

Natsume thought _" Of all times, why now? Tch.i really can't understand them."_

"With her.."he glared at Mikan.. with the expression don't-dare-believe-this.. "it's nice," heaving out a sigh of irritation.

Hearing this..the two persistent mothers were already satisfied and so they opted to leave.

"Well, that's nice to hear! See you later!" Yuka giggled.

"Alright, children, take care, bye!" Kaoru said in a high-pitched tone.

The two had their elbows cross and off they disappeared.

"Oh, that was so close," Mikan sighed in exhaustion of pretending while feeling her forehead if she got fever or what.

"It's better if they found out," Natsume smirked, ready for another set of babbles from the annoying girl beside him.

"Are you insane? We would be dead for good!" she snapped.

"No, I won't, you'll be," he said coolly.

"Oh, you sucking brat!!" she erupted like real volcano and there she ran..slamming the door shut, with the intention of making her despicable partner's ears bleed.

The night came awkwardly with them fighting relentlessly over small things. For example, in the canteen, Mikan bought her lunch..let's say..chicken curry(know that? ) and then she proceeded to her table with Hotaru. Then Hotaru remarked that chicken curry is really that famous. Mikan, out of curiosity, she asked why Hotaru said it. Then, Hotaru simply raised her index finger pointing to someone and said "because he's also eating it.."and then Mikan followed the direction and saw Natsume not really eating but merely playing with the spoon and the curry. Mikan dashed to Natsume and confronted him, why on earth is he eating food like what she's eating? why the hell is he playing with food? doesn't he know food is meant to be eaten?..and why the heck is he smirking and not heeding her sermons? And because Natsume is really a nonchalant cool guy, Bang! Their 101st fight started!

Now, it's time for their mission but to both of them it doesn't necessarily mean that they have to put aside their skirmishes.

" Ne, are you ready?" hoping for a good answer cause she herself is not yet ready.

" Why don't you ask yourself?" Natsume retorted. What could Mikan expect? Natsume never said anything good when she's with him.

"I'm more than prepared!" she boasted though hesitating.

"That's good, so you won't be a nuisance," he said not looking at her.

"When did I become a nuisance?!?" she rejoined.

"SSh..shut up.."he whispered.

He pointed to the dark, below the tree where they were hiding. Shadows were seen. They knew it.

"Persona…c'mon..let's get him.." gaining her confidence and valor..if she really do have any..

Before Natsume had the chance of admonishing her, she jumped off and confronted Persona.

" Hey, you evil guy! Stop right there!" she shouted.

"What do you want white kitty?" he said gently though with looming malice.

"Excuse me, I have a name. well, I want to.._"then she pulled something out of her pocket..a dagger or a knife..any weapon you can think of that can kill such a human.

"kill you!..Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Uh-oh, Persona dodged it easily. He is the trainer of Natsume so it is expected of him. If Natsume is a black cat and very fast-moving, then the same with Persona, even faster. But for me, Natsume is still the best! (agree or disagree?)

"You mokouka..face your death," he threatened her with an aura emanating anger.

Before his fingers lay on her, to destroy her, to corrode her body, Natsume jumped serving as boundary or let's say barrier between the two.

Without any tinge of concern.. apparently, Natsume snapped to Persona.

" Hey, stay back! Don't tell me you're getting coward this time, huh?"

" Why the hell?" he just can't simply understand why on earth can he be called coward when he almost killed Mikan if not for Natsume acting like a barrier between them.

Natsume keeping his composure ever, his face not revealing his true emotions,,that is he's concern of Mikan. He can't stand a day without Mikan being there to be bullied by him..only him. Or he just can't survive living a heck day without Mikan and her smile? Either way.. he's concern.

" Sure you want to hurt that crybaby, huh? That only proves you're weak, a paper!" he smirked.

" Geez,don't tell me you're saving your girl, since when did you learn to have one?" he teased him.

Again, not spilling any telltale sign of his emotion, Natsume continued to speak as if he were just merely playing along with the joke of Persona..

" Hn. Hell no. Not a part of my plan. But finishing this mission can help me be freed from her so I just have to…kill you!"

Persona, in a second, managed to avoid Natsume's attack..yeah..blazing attack. He went behind Mikan, ready to touch her soft porcelain skin. Natsume twirled only to see the imminent danger ready to strike Mikan at any moment.

Mikan, on the other hand tried hard to tussle but she felt deadbeat not physically but with the current situation they were in.

" Try to take a little step forward and she will be dead," Persona tipped-off.

" Tch. What a bother. You can kill her now if you want to, I don't need her. But I'll be punished to death if I let you do that," staying calm but inside..he was not certain if he was really scared at that time for Persona might comply to what he said. But yeah, he did mean it anyway.. a bit.

After digesting and abridging all what Natsume said, Mikan felt irritated. She came to a conclusion. She knew what words were running in the wheels of Natsume's mind " _I hate her_," oh yes..now she knew it.. he hates her.. so much..that he could even give her to death. He made her feel unneeded. She was hurt. Hurt? Emotionally hurt? Well, not yet.

Mustering all the courage she had that time though diminishing, she muttered under her breath.

" You just watch, Natsume."

Then she used her right elbow to punch Persona's stomach, twiddled and kicked his chest. Oh, but this was all a lie, it never happened because just when she pushed her elbow toward him, Persona had grabbed her arms and Mikan as well as Natsume knew it right away, what was next, Mikan would be eaten by Persona's Corroding or Death Alice. That would be her end.

Stunned, Natsume can just watched with his dilated eyes.

"Oh..hell..no"

The next scenes were really spurs-of -the-moment.

Without thinking, without hesitating, with his reflex action, with the adrenaline rush and with his concern of Mikan, Natsume threw five balls of scorching flame to Persona. Scorching not only because they're balls of flames but because this is the right adjective to describe Natsume's anger towards Persona.

Persona dodged the others but one ball had fortunately hit him on his right arm, he flinched.

" You, two, remember this day! I'm gonna make you pay!"

Persona can only curse them as he disappeared into the darkness.

Seeing that everything was finally okay, temporarily. Mikan decided to approach Natsume.

" I hate to say it..but thank you for------"

She was cut off by Natsume. As much as he wanted to be thanked..especially by Mikan, he shouted at her. .anger and concern were mixed up. What was the result? Unrevealed.

" You are really a complete idiot," he remarked.

" Wha-what?" annoyance was obvious in her voice but analyzing her tone..deeper.. hurt was starting to spring.

Ignoring the fact that Mikan was now misunderstanding his feeling.. his real feeling.. the feeling of anxiety for Mikan could have died there right infront of his eyes, he still chided her.. he never cared if she would be angry or what..if she would hate him or not. To him, words matter more than actions.

" You're nuts, you don't even know how to use your brain. You recklessly jumped and confronted him even without a plan!! Are you suicidal? Now, you see what happened, he slipped away. And hell to think, I even wasted my efforts on stopping him to touch you."

Natsume thought _" And hell.. you even make me say a kilometric line..you even make me feel concerned..geez.."_

Ok.. Mikan heaved out a sigh..for her..that was a sign of defeat against Natsume. It was her fault, she knew it but she needed not to hear that from Natsume, he needed not to emphasize it.

" Oh..but at least, you hit him because of me,"

She was simply running out of words.

" Can't you be more rational? Try making sense for once..polka!!"

"_What at least? Was that even a benefit? That at least could have cost your life…"_

He continued letting out words appearing to Mikan as invisible swords.

" Tch. How on earth can I finish this mission, if you are my partner? You're ruining my night."

Mikan couldn't help but to be submissive, it was her fault anyway..her imperfection..her stupidity.

"Sorry..sorry..i won't do that again..Natsume," bowing her head.. a curve line bended downward was etched on her face.

" Oi..do you even know what's the point of saying sorry? I hate this, being with someone annoying and dumb like you. You-are-the-worst!" accentuating the last four words.

With that he walked away, hands tucked inside his pockets. He sighed.. he had never been a brute guy but just because of her..that vexing girl there whom he left standing facing the ground known for her idiocy..(for him) he had said those harsh words. He never meant them anyway… but a part of him told him he meant it..

Oh crap..now he was getting confused just because of that girl again! Of all sensible reasons, why she? How on earth?

Mikan kept on musing the ground. Yes..the ground.. why can't people just muse the sky instead the ground when they're disappointed or dejected? Is ground more interesting to look at than the sky? I doubt. But in the case of Mikan, it is. She had never felt so guilty and so ashamed of herself. And worse, she had never admitted a downfall..especially against Natsume. Now, she was thinking.. why the heck do they have to be partners..of all possible twain…? Why do they have to do the same mission? And more importantly, why does she have to care? Why, does Natsume even care?

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**Now.. thanks for reading.. i need your help..so kindly review this chapter.. whether you liked it or not..**

**thank you!!**


	2. The Predicament

**Yay! Sorry for the late update!! A lot of circumstances happened… but anyway thanks to those who are continuously supporting my first fanfic.. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice ( how I wish but never..ouch!)**

**I forgot to put this in the first chapter. :D**

After that dire situation, she decided to trudge her way to her room. Yuka was currently there..waiting for her.

" So, Mikan-chan.. you and Natsume had an encounter with Persona, right? How was it?" she inquired her gently while combing her hair reaching below her shoulders but not that long.

Mikan was out of words. She didn't know if she would lie or not. Lie because it was bad…it wasn't what it was supposed to be ..it wasn't what is to be expected of her. Not to lie since Yuka is still her mother..no need to lie..and because there's nothing wrong..not that much..so why need to be scared of the truth.

And so she faced it.

" Uhm..fine..but we were not able to accomplish it mom..sorry..for the 35th time.. we're still unable to do that..because of…me," she just whispered the last word..She was really ashamed of herself. Yeah..that is the effect of Natsume's words..they are on the process of undermining Mikan's positive thinking.

Yuka wasn't sure that time what kind of feeling was she supposed to allow to dominate: the feeling of guilt since she knew very well that Mikan was not really convinced to do the mission, the feeling of sadness since she couldn't stand seeing Mikan being gloomy when she knows that her daughter is really cheerful, optimistic or the feeling of gladness because this only means that Natsume and Mikan would have more time to spend together and the chance of them being friends and eventually ending up together is becoming greater.

And she had more emotions that time but incapable of realizing the reasons of each emotion..Anyway..

" Iie, it's ok.. you have plenty of time, don't worry,"

Now you see.. she let the feeling of gladness to dominate.

As for Mikan,

" _Oh..i know I don't need to worry..as long as Natsume is here,"_

Then she screamed and quickly covered her mouth. She was unsure that time if she had spoken those words or she was just forming them in her mind..

"_Hell, where did those words come?"_

"Mikan,. What's wrong? Are you sick?" she asked worriedly and curiously. Nice combination.

Now Mikan knows, the words were just a fruit of her lunatic brain that time after being drenched in loneliness and disappointment. Nice to know.

With that, Mikan could just smile.. shortly.

" Nothing, mom.. I just feel like screaming suddenly," and then she chuckled.

Yuka was now relieved to see that Mikan has started recovering after that time of frustration.

Next day had come. .uncontrollably. .of course.

" Ohayou,. Minna! Hotaru, Ruka!!" she greeted like there is no tomorrow that she had to exert her best effort to greet them very nicely and jolly.

" Don't be so loud," her best friend answered apathetically.

" Oh, Ohayou, Sakura," Ruka greeted back with the gentlest smile.

Now, our fire-caster was annoyed by what was happening, by what was the ambience of the first scene of his day.. and irritated by the greetings of Mikan, know why? because she didn't even bother to greet him. He is her partner, for hell sake. That time, he wanted to stand and tell her again that he is her partner and that he is there.. he's not absent for the 5th time.

He waited impatiently but it never came.

" How could you say that so easily? It's not even good," he stated as a matter-of-fact.

" I did not greet you so don't answer back. We're not even close!" she retorted with pride.

Ok. Now she was really getting into his nerves.. any minute he could char her hair..all of it.. How the hell can she say that they're not close? Does she have any proof? He hopes none. Oh., why the heck does he care? Never in his life did he wish to be close with someone anyway..

All he could do was to glare at her.

Mikan, as indignant as she is, also glared at him.

And lightning sparked.

" Don't you dare, Ichigo-kara,"

Mikan stood there half-dead, how the heck was he able to see it?

" Na..na..natsume!!" she shrieked..flushing.

"Hn," thanks for his somewhat psychic mind, actually he never had the chance to peek at her since there was no wind passing by that time, so he could just guess.. and he was right.

He's indeed a precocious guy.

If Mikan is now in the mood of being in good spirits, Natsume is in the mood of getting pissed off.

After class, yeah..after class cause this time he didn't ditch, he eagerly went to his Mom's room.

" Mom, can we talk?" he asked casually.

" Oh,, Natsume you're here, good.. any improvement about the mission?" ignoring what Natsume wanted. She knew very well that Natsume would again insist her on stopping the hell mission.

Natsume took this opportunity.. anyway.. even though they're proposing two different topics, it would still lead to what he wanted. It would still be his win.

" What can you expect? With Polka-dots, there will never be an improvement even the slightest. Can we just stop this nonsense, mom? I can stay away from her, if you want, just to cease from arguing. I can do the mission by myself, she's just a complete hindrance," he reasoned out.

For the second time now, Mikan was the reason on why he had said that kilometric line.

Kaoru used that time to think.. at least she needed to pretend that she was thinking over the decision Yuka and she made.. for Natsume's sake.

" Well, let me think about it," she replied calmly.

This somehow ignited a flame of hope inside Natsume.

" Nice to hear, mom,"

As when he was about to walk away, turning the knob of their front door. Kaoru was ready to respond.. after thinking..no she didn't even think.. not even a bit.

" Stay with her!!" she said with her sparkling eyes.

And this extinguished the small flame of hope. Tch.

" Oh..crap," he sighed and continued leaving, slamming the door shut. Shut… like he no longer have any intention of going back to that room.

Peeved of what had just happened, he slogged his way to his favorite spot, the Sakura tree. He rested there for awhile, enjoying the setting under the arms of the tree, feeling the cool breeze caressing his cheeks and the falling Sakura petals tickling his skin. Such an atmosphere invited him to take a nap, to somehow forget all what happened that day.. though it was still exactly 1 pm. He was about to close his eyes when…

" Natsume.." now,, heck.. he knew that voice. Can he just pretend he's sleeping? No, he can't.. for a reason he's still trying to figure out.

" Hn. Why are you here?" he asked her cheesed off.

" I want to talk to you," she just spoke plainly.

" _So, we're not close, huh? Now, who's starting a conversation here, polka?"_

With that thought, he could just smirk.

" Tch. What stupid thing are you going to do next?" he sent a deadly aura to her.

" I'm thinking if you want to build a plan," with her voice radiating hope and… I think.. that was hopelessness. What an irony!

" For what?" confused of what she was saying. If she wants to build a plan then why does he need to be involved? The hell he cares!!

" For capturing Persona," she said playing with her fingers. She couldn't face Natsume. She was blushing hard.. just because she was really diffident about what she was thinking.

So, now he knows. What on earth?

" You think that would work, huh? Well go on, think for yourself. Don't involve me. I don't need that," as he deduced, a conversation with Polka would always be nonsense.

And so, he started to walk away.

" Natsume, can't you just cooperate? If you're sick of this mission.. well..hell, I'm more sick of it! If you hate to be my partner then why don't we finish this as soon as possible? Isn't that what you want?" she told him in a straightforward tone.

Anyway, that's the fact. They're both sick of it. Natsume hates her. What else?

Finally, this line managed to prick Natsume's mind and heart. What polka said is definitely true. He didn't know Polka could be this real.. real in words.

They're both sick of it. He hates to be her partner. Still, it doesn't mean he hates her. Or does it?

He thought for awhile.

" Hn. For once, I've seen you making sense polka, but we don't need a plan," he replied surprisingly.

" Eh?" she was stunned.. jaw-dropped.

" All we have to do.. no.. you ..just have to use your brain.. so that you won't repeat your thoughtless action like that," he continued.. twitting her.

" But.."

" And be careful.. know how to protect yourself. You could die at any moment if you're attacking him like that, I hope you can understand that with that very simple brain of yours.,Polka," he ordered her.. like he is her boss.. but I think warn is the more apt term. He warned her because he's concern. Really? He still doesn't know.

" You're getting out of the topic," she snapped missing the hint of concern in Natsume's words and message.

" Whatever. Now, can you just go and leave me? I need a peace of mind. I still have 10 hours to enjoy, don't spoil it," tantalizing her.

" Mou.. Natsume!! Do whatever you want to do, jerk!! You know, you've just ruined mine! Hell.. I shouldn't have talked to you!" she pouted.

" Hn. Nice to hear," he simpered.

She shuddered in anger, completely losing her sense of calmness if she did have any. Swoosh.. she made her way away from Natsume. She swore.. she would never get close to Natsume again.. for that day.

" Ne, Kaoru, do you think those two will be fine together?" Yuka inquired Kaoru while folding some of her clothes. They were in her room.

" Oh, yes, lately.. Natsume asked me to stop this "nonsense" thing as he quoted it. I think they can't really get along with each other," she imparted her while she also folded some of Yuka's clothes.

" Yes, even this mission can't do a thing. It seems like each day, their situation is becoming worse and worse," Yuka shared her thoughts, losing hope.

" Thought of giving up?" Kaoru asked worriedly.

" Never! Let's try to think some better plans," she said with burning spirit. Oh.. she's really the mother of Mikan.

At that night, Mikan couldn't sleep. She was trying to conceptualize a plan. She was really fervent to prove to Natsume that it will make a difference.. even an iota. After squeezing her brain tight, she decided to take a walk in the woods. Anyway, post lights were lit so there was no reason to be scared of ghosts or any entity. And she believed she was already grown-up so she shouldn't be having those childish fears. And she wanted to be strong.. enough.. that she can no longer be called the worst.

When she was already in an unfamiliar place.. where bushes reign…

Someone spoke. She knew it.

**There!! !! .. I really need some inspirations..!! and I'm open for suggestions..thank you!!**


	3. The Mishap

**Hi there..sorry!! I updated late. But my other story Thread of Affliction haha..i've just updated it the other day..i was kinda motivated during that so here it goes: Chapter 3  
**

" Alone? White kitty?" Mikan turned around to the source of the voice..of that deadly aura only to see..the cause of their mission..Persona.

Persona's face was a bolt from the blue to Mikan. She didn't know what to do that time not only that, she also had no idea what kind of feeling was emanating out of her trembling body. Was there a need for her to escape? No, the question should be: Was there a chance for her to escape?

She could just mutter under her breath.

" Persona…,"

Persona could just simper evilly at the palpable tension Mikan was feeling that even he could notice.

He daunted and taunted her even more.

" Terrified to see me? How pity," he gained more confidence when he detected that someone was not around..the one who served as the barricade before, the protector of Mikan, even if he was just forced to, Natsume. Now, he can smell the whiff of his victory.

Piqued by that remark from Persona, she snapped,

" Huh, you wish," Good thing, because of this incensed feeling, she was being able to overcome her nervousness.

Persona enjoying their conversation..he asked with a bantering tone, " Is that so?"

And then with a flash, Persona was already behind her, ready to touch her, to grant her the fondle of death. She knew she shouldn't be scared even if she had no dagger that time or anything that could kill Persona, because she's a Nullifier and a fearless one, but just the thought of Persona's Corroding or Death Alice just couldn't help but to transmit shivers to her spine. However, she finally made up her mind, she finally pacified her mind in turmoil. No going back, she needed to prove something to someone and this was the only chance. Still she was being coward but she didn't give a heck care, all that mattered was to fight for her survival, for her life, and for her reputation. She took few steps backward just to gain enough leg power, launch off towards Persona then attack him straight. But Persona was too fast, in a sudden, he had cornered her just before she was able to take few more steps.

Mikan fought him with her futile kicks and punches but Persona dodged them all. And now it was Persona's turn to attack, he kicked Mikan's stomach so hard that Mikan was like a paper blown away and fell onto the ground..worse..her head hit a rock. The brunt was really hard..but not that hard to break someone's cranium but an impact that can let crimson blood to ooze out of your head. Obviously, she became unconscious…like she was no longer waking up.

With an evil smirk..again, (so how many times does he have to smirk?) Persona started approaching her, ready to complete the last part of his plan, to lay his fingers on her and corrode her when a whip bean came slashing his abdomen part.

He looked for the source of the whip bean only to see one of his legendary enemies..and yeah, one of his strongest enemies if the tandem of Natsume and Mikan will be excluded, the protective teacher of our main casts, Narumi.

" Don't you ever lay your dirty fingers on my student, Persona!" he reproached him. He was really submerged into the swamp of hatred seeing that Persona almost killed his student, his precious Mikan.

Now, Persona was infuriated.

" Good timing!" he told him as he was wiping the blood from his mouth.

Narumi of course couldn't just shut up, he needed to start attacking him with his vicious words, if they can be compared and can compete with the vile doings of his fiend.

" Fighting with a student like that. You really are a killer, huh? C'mon fight with me!" he challenged him. Actually, he was now in a hurry seeing the crucial condition of Mikan but he just needed to finish Persona first so that this wouldn't be happening ever again as long as he is existing.

But thank goodness, Persona was the one who gave him enough time to save Mikan from being in the "departure area."

" Sorry, but my hands are only intended for killing that kitten and the black cat," he was actually intimidated with his condition, there was no way that he would have the one-hundred percent chance of winning, he could still fight, but it was just that it might risk his life. For him, his life must not be ended yet unless he had killed the two already, Natsume and Mikan, of course.

With that, he quickly vanished into the darkness.

Narumi scurried to Mikan as he cradled her into his arms. He saw deep line of blood flowing from the corner of her mouth as well as excessive blood coming out of her forehead. He carried her bridal style and ran to the hospital in a cheetah mode. He couldn't let the hands of death tap Mikan's shoulder. Never…as long as he's to protect her.

" Hold on, Mikan-chan," he told her worriedly though she was unconscious and though she couldn't hear a thing from the outside world. But Narumi didn't give up, he knew Mikan would hear it. She would feel it in her heart.

After Mikan had been admitted to the hospital, Narumi called Yuka and informed her what happened. Yuka came rushing like there was no tomorrow.

" Narumi, where's Mikan? I need to see her," she clutched on Narumi's polo..she needed a quick answer..every second counts. Tears were looming to fall.

Narumi tried his best to calm her down..she shouldn't be panicking, from his point of view, but maybe he could just never be able to feel what Yuka was feeling that time, because he is not a parent. He's just trying to be one. ..for Mikan.

" Don't worry, she's now resting, the doctor said she will be fine," he smiled tenderly to show that what he had just told was definitely true..that Mikan was already safe..no need to worry. And to at least help in easing the pain and the worry and the nervousness and all the feelings that a mother could feel at that point of time.

Yuka could just let a single tear to escape, that tear was the harbinger of her relief that time.. her feeling of serenity.

" Yukata! But what happened?" she could just really thank God for that great blessing. Still, she really wanted to know what happened. Narumi was in no time to tell her what happened when he phoned her. He just went straight to the point and told her Mikan is in the hospital

Narumi's expression suddenly shifted to being in anguish. How much as he wanted to lie to Yuka for it might just aggravate the uncomfortable feeling Yuka had that time, he was ready to state what happened. He knows very well that Yuka, as the mother of Mikan, has the right to know what happened.

" She had an encounter with Persona and unfortunately, her head hit a rock. Good thing, I saw them, Persona was already on his way of corroding her. I'm sorry, if I could have just come earlier,this wouldn't happen,"

Yuka wiped her eyes to erase all the traces of tears that were forming lately. And then she smiled, that smile that Narumi grew to love ever since they were students.

" No, it's ok..don't worry.. Oh, thank you, Narumi for saving my daughter, I owe so much from you!! " With brimming bliss that time, she hugged Narumi. She couldn't have just imagined what worse could happen to Mikan if Narumi was not there..not there to protect her daughter. Indeed, he is really fulfilling his promise to her. She was really grateful.

" Nah, no problem, I promised, right? I would do everything to protect you and Mikan,"

And then he hugged her back and rested his head on her head. But he knew this hug was only a thank you sign, he never meant to take advantage of her, he can't.

After that moment, they decided to enter Mikan's room and Yuka could only see Mikan's head coiled with bandages. She felt very sad seeing that Mikan was kinda pale, no color of oomph she used to have.

She gently approached her and kissed her forehead.

" Mikan-chan, mommy is here," she whispered sweetly.

And then she proceeded to sit on the bench at the right side of Mikan's bed.

After a long silence between Yuka and Narumi, Yuka spoke. She was in a great need to cascade her feeling of guilt. And there was no other person there she could rely on than Narumi.

She faced him and Narumi sensed it.

" Anything you want to say?" he asked her lightly.

" It's….it's my fault for letting Mikan do the mission," she revealed.

"Eh? What mission?" Now he was getting confused. It seemed like the question was out of nowhere.

" Kaoru and I decided to let Mikan and Natsume do a mission to kill Persona so that in that way, they can get along and stop treating each other as mortal enemies and finally ending up together..i know it sounds childish..but we just can't let those two to be enemies forever when Kaoru and I are best friends," she spoke timidly. She couldn't imagine herself being so childish when she's already a mother..but anyway it's for her daughter.

Narumi could just chuckle with the idea. He could just picture Natsume and Mikan ending up together. Oh..that would be very romantic. To think that for about 8 years, he had witnessed nothing but their endless scuffles and then in the end, they would still be together. What an absurd idea! No, it can be possible.

" Oh..sorry..but you see, this kind of mission is really dangerous for both of them especially to Mikan. Natsume can somehow manage to attack him with his Fire Alice but Mikan can only protect herself. We're not even sure if she can, with the nullifying that had once betrayed Yukihira-sensei..and.." he still wanted to continue but he was unmindful of what he was saying, this could hurt Yuka and so he stopped.

But by just hearing the name of the one she loved very much..really brings her down.

" Oh..sorry..sorry..i didn't mean to.." he apologized very hard..he really didn't mean to.

" Oh..go on..it's okay..that fact just really saddens me," and she became even lonelier.

But Narumi continued for the sake of discussing that mission,

" Hai..and one more thing, they treat each other as enemies, so how could they possibly help each other accomplish the mission?"

" Yeah, I'm also thinking that,,that's why Kaoru and I are already forming a new plan..oh..but I really never thought this would happen… I thought they will be fine," her emotion that time was neutral. It was neither depicting happiness nor loneliness.

Oh..they will be fine..for sure..as long as they are together but this time..they weren't together right? Natsume was not there to serve as a barrier. She was left behind or maybe it was just accidental.

" Yeah, I understand..for the mean time, I'll try my best to protect them from Persona. Any moment, Persona will avenge," he reassured at the same time warned her.

"Thank you so much.." Now happiness and relief finally returned to her side. Thank goodness, Narumi is always there.

Meanwhile, Kaoru, running together with Natsume who was only walking at a fast pace not really running, hugged Yuka tightly.

" Now..now..Sorry for being late, where is she? What happened?"

Well, she was really late because when Narumi called she was not by Yuka's side. She was having her beauty rest somewhere else unlike before she was just there in Yuka's room. Yuka having no enough time to search for Kaoru just grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled on it:**"Mikan, Hospital." **And then, almost 30 minutes had passed before Kaoru returned to Yuka's room. And when she read that, of course she needed to take along Natsume with her but he was nowhere to be found, he was again spacing out or resting there under his Sakura tree, but Kaoru had no idea where was he, or even that Sakura thing, so she needed to wait and after 15 minutes Natsume finally arrived at Yuka's room seeing that there was no one there in her mother's.

And so they came running while telling him what happened.

Narumi replied," Well,she had an encounter with Persona and she hit her head on a rock. The doctor said, she's already safe from danger, no hemorrhage,"

**(a/n: sorry, guys..i know with that impact..there should be a hemorrhage..but let's just consider it as a miracle, ok?)**

Kaoru clasped her hands together," Oh, thank goodness!"

There behind her standing was Natsume, emotionless..if you'll judge it from his face, but deep inside, he was really suffering, wishing that it was better if he was the one in Mikan's position right now, if he was the one lying there in torment. If only he was there with Mikan during the encounter, to be her shield then this could never happen, this would never be an omen of the end..yes the end of everything, the end of their friendship, if it can even be considered like that, the end of everything they had and everything they were, the end of them.

Yeah..he just had the hunch that something is gonna change..eventually leading to the end.

**Ok..there..sorry..there's no NatsuMikan moment..only a hint of them..but maybe for the succeeding chapters…uhm..the chapter after the next chapter..i still don't know. It depends on the length of my next chapter. Oh..and the last line there..talking about the "end,"Just try to decode it..ok??**


	4. The Pang

**Sorry for the late update! My parents are being so protective of me that they don't want to be exposed to too much radiation. And sometimes..i kinda feel lazy. Anyway..hope you'll enjoy this chapter. **

**I cannot consider this as a NatsuMikan chapter..uhm..but the last part..they have their scenes so please read until the end. Thank you!**

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After 3 days in distress, Mikan finally woke up from an almost forever lethargic condition. Opening her eyes, and adjusting with the bright light that welcomed her and the new surroundings of the area where she was and the feeling of the softness of the bed where she was laid, she immediately searched for Persona. Well, since she was sleeping, she felt like she had just undergone a murky nightmare and that the moment she opened her eyes,,the reality hasn't changed..that Persona's shadows would be the first feature she would see and it was better to be ready as always. But her rumbling mind stopped panicking when she had seen those white curtains..the white blanket, the white tiles and the white wall and felt the white wind coming from the air-conditioner. Was she already in heaven? Everything was white..except herself and she doesn't have any wings to be an angel..for the completion. Her eyes had cope up with the seemingly new surroundings and they revealed the figures of Yuka, Narumi, Kaoru, Tsubasa and Misaki, and her classmates. No sign of Natsume's presence and aura but she didn't seem to notice it. This was not the right time to notice it. Her circumstance might become worse.

Come to think of it, even if she noticed it, would she be shocked? Never did Natsume care for her, so it wouldn't be something if he wouldn't be there. She could have doubted if Natsume would even care to know what happened to her being absent for few days ( she was not aware of the number).

She's not that important to him…she may never become one. She's nothing to him. Huh, nothing..but only the worst.

Seeing that Mikan had become more conscious, Yuka started prattling if Mikan was feeling well. And with her high-pitched tone, Mikan sure was startled.

" Oh..Mikan…I'm very glad, you've already awoken, don't make me worry again. I don't know what would I do if I would lose you again," and with that she hugged her tightly, bestowing her all the affection she has for her. She promised herself she would do that more often.

Mikan hugged her back..this is the most thing she would miss if ever she was forced to aboard the train in the "departure area." Even if, sometimes..Yuka is being mean to her…shoving her to be what she doesn't want to be..and making her carry out the mission she detests the most..she still loves her. She waited for life just to meet her mother. And that's one of the innumerable proofs how strong and resilient the bond of a mother and daughter is.

Next to speak..was the one she has been considering as an aunt..not blood-related nor business-related, but perhaps bonded by a peripheral force that attached them to each other.

" Oh,,yes..Mikan-chan..happy to see you're ok..I apologize for Natsume's sense of irresponsibility, he should be with you when-,"

By just mentioning the name, Mikan, though aware of the fact that it's a disrespect to suddenly butt in while one especially an older person is delivering her line, but in this case..it's a predestined necessity.

" Uhm..thank you..Kaoru-san," she was suppressed for awhile she considers her as an aunt. Does it automatically require her to call her Aunt Kaoru? It's kinda clichéd. What would Natsume think if he hears that? That she is feeling close with her mom..when they don't have any relationship at all aside from being classmates and seatmates? Hedging her bets, she decided to use the polite expression.. –san.

And then she continued, " Iie, uhm..it's ok..even if Natsume wasn't there..anyway it's not really his responsibility to be with me and protect me. It's my fault for being careless," she explained..though every word maims her. In any moment, this may accumulate up to the point it can no longer be sequestered until it kills her.

Oh..the right time arrived. She finally noticed that Natsume wasn't around. Good, or else..they would again fight and that would adversely affect her plan. Not really a plan..but she is planning to distant herself from Natsume gradually so as to put a discontinuity in the rope tying them, then as it gets bigger..it will form a gap..eventually there will come a time..it will finally break. And if she would do her part quickly then in no time..the rope would be………

Narumi being mindful of Mikan's blend of emotions decided to interrupt before she cries.

" Next time, Mikan-chan, don't go alone by yourself..ok?" he cautioned her..like a father reprimanding her daughter for walking off alone at the middle of the night.

Then Yuka informed Mikan about Narumi's heroism.

" He saved you from Persona, Mikan-chan," she beamed at her then she glanced at Narumi who was looking at her as well.

Mikan painted a wide range of a smile, Narumi really satiates her longing for a father, still she could never forget her one and only father.

" Narumi-sensei, I owe you my life! Thank you!" Narumi approached her and patted her head like saying telepathically " No problem, Mikan-chan,"

Next was Hotaru.

" Oi, baka..what were you thinking, fighting with Persona? You're making me have wrinkles. Anyway, I'm happy to see you alive, it's boring if my best friend is not around..no idiotic victim for me to play with," and then she grinned sheepishly. But after that she smiled, really relieved to see her sitting up straight on the bed than lying there like the clock stopped for good.

Mikan cannot be that dense when she's infront of Hotaru. She knows her that much..even if she's like that..she can still understand her. Now she knows what she means..she cares for her. And she's thinking that maybe what happened to her is not that bad after all, Hotaru rarely shows her actions of concern to Mikan..and good thing, this situation made that feeling of Hotaru to tower out.

Yes, she can still get a grasp of Hotaru's feelings unlike with Natsume's..very unpredictable. Or maybe she doesn't have that high aptitude to comprehend Natsume's actions. But it doesn't really matter.

" Oh, thank you..Hotaru..you're really my best friend," she replied with so much gratefulness.

" Sakura-san..are you really feeling okay now? Be more careful next time." Ruka then asked at the same time advised her.

Mikkan thought for a jiffy that Ruka is such a pleasant guy..really. He's very gentle, loving, caring, handsome, and also a smart one. He possesses all the ideal characteristics of a guy every girl dreams of. And she also concluded that Hotaru would sure be lucky to have him, if Hotaru's indifference will be disregarded. Until now..Hotaru does nothing but to invent sophisticated machines and earn money. She can only care about her outside world if some imbalances would be happening like in Mikan's case. But caring about the world beyond the reality..but beneath the fantasy..the world of Love..well..she has never got that far.

" Hai! Ruka-pyon..i'm feeling fine, thank you!" And then she tittered.

How comforting it is to answer questions like these…concerning about yourself..your condition..your state of feeling. How relaxing it is to feel like everybody around your circle is loving you.

" Kouhai, glad you're still alive!" Tsubasa then made his way to talk to Mikan.

Instead of Mikan replying, Misaki stole the chance.

Spanking Tsubasa's head, she jeered, " Of course, she would still be alive!"

Tsubasa retorted while rubbing his head," I'm just kidding!"

Those two really make a cute couple. They both have authentic sense of humor. Well..their friendship has been progressing and even if no words are being spoken because they both preferred it to be that way, it's obvious..they are entering the next level.

" Next time, mikan-chan..call me if you want to fight with him so that I can protect you," Tsubasa added like he is the hero of everybody..you know like Superman..but Superman never have a star beside his left eye. ( **no offense**).

Again…Misaki reacted, " Don't fool around, Tsubasa,,you can't even protect yourself.. if not for your shadow manipulation..you would be hospitalized for a year. Anyway, Mikan-chan, take care, ne!"

Tsubasa could just be a servile when it comes to Misaki speaking. It is a bit true, he can't really protect himself. Unlike Misaki..her words can already scare away her enemies even those who are willing to fight with him. Nevertheless, he cares for Misaki a lot..and he would do everything to protect her.

Mikan again giggled about that scene.

" Hai! Thank you Misaki-senpai, Tsubasa-senpai!" she replied vividly.

And then the whole class asked her if she's feeling okay..or if anything hurts: Same questions, different emotions or different questions, same emotions.

After few moments, the whole class left telling her that Jinno-sensei is really strict and terror..giving them a forty-page assignment. Hotaru, brilliant as she is, she let her robot, the one she made resembling her in every manner, do the assignment, and now the assignment was finished. Narumi said he still had works to be done and that he would just come for a visit if ever he would have a vacant time, while Kaoru also said that she had some unfinished business..actually she had an appointment with someone..with her manicurist and she couldn't just admit it of course.

Yuka stayed longer but Mikan seeing her mother tired, she insisted her to at least take her rest.

She couldn't withstand seeing her mother groggy because of almost sleepless nights waiting for her to even have a blink. And now that she's already 18, she herself would still be fine even if she's alone. And that's what she reasoned out to her mom to persuade her.

" Mother, it's okay now, don't worry anymore, take your rest or else I'll be mad at you!" she added while threatening her with a playful voice. She knows her mother's weakness, Mikan herself.

Yuka could just chuckle. Mikan's liveliness is coming back.

" Hai..hai..okay..sure? Want me to leave you?" she asked her for reassurance.

" Yes, mother!" and she nodded.

With that, they exchanged goodbyes.

And Yuka exited the door which was at the right side of Mikan meaning it wouldn't be that easy to see the person entering and exiting the door right away without glancing to see it with your own eyes.

Mikan decided to grab a magazine from the piled up collections on the table next to her bed. And there, she started browsing..not really reading..just admiring the beautiful models in their great poses.

After five minutes, the door clicked open. It seemed like Yuka forgot to lock it for her. Mikan, assuming that was her mother..she didn't glance to see the person for welcoming. It was her mother anyway..as what she was thinking.

And then she put aside the magazine and sighed in frustration, Yuka sure was quite firm. Her body needed a complete rest and still she did nothing but to worry about Mikan. Okay, there was nothing wrong with that..since she is her daughter..it's normal. But at least care for herself, too..right?

With that she again advised her.

" Mother..you should be------," and now she was cut.

" Oi..Polka..," And she turned her head to her right to meet the eyes of Natsume.

Now..destiny is really irreversible. She didn't remember wishing Natsume to visit her. What a narrow escape from the reality. For once, she needed a peace of mind and she could be able to do that while she was there..staying there in the hospital wherein she believed Natsume wouldn't go to..especially if she would be the reason. Well, there's one exception: if he would be the one to be hospitalized or maybe her mother or someone special to him and she's definitely excluded from the list.

But now..here he was..ready to bring havoc to her life.

And she could just mutter under her breath," Oh………Natsume,"

And now she was thinking: Was there a speck of chance that Natsume was indeed worry about her?

" I see, this was the stupid thing you did next, fighting alone with Persona? Hn. What are you trying to prove?"

And she never get wrong. He was there to ruin every sane thought she had. What was his problem anyway? Is she that despicable for him to throb anytime he wants? And was that even stupid? She tried her might just to have a fight with Persona and win over him then after that.. mission accomplished, they would be free for good. And is it her fault to be a "weak" human?

And most especially, she never wished to fight alone with Persona. It was true she had the second thought of running away when they had encountered but can Natsume blame her for trying to be strong and worthy of his attention? And what did he expect her to do? She was alone that time. Was there a need to call him?

" _It was your fault for leaving me alone when I needed you..," _she thought wishing her facial expression could convey the message to this callous guy. Her face was so pale and wistful.

Yes, she did want to cry. After the pain inflicted by Persona..here she was again facing another one who was again ready to mete out a deeper pain to her. Oh…doesn't she have the right to recover?

Instead of crying, she snapped, " Hell..Natsume..if you're just going to tell me that I'm stupid then better go out of my room, you're not helping me to feel better," she glared at him.

Tch. Wrong move. She knew very well, he was not there to help her feel better. Why on earth did she even say it?

" Who told you I want to make you feel better? Never," Oh..there another second of rejection has just passed by Mikan.

Natsume really could only give a cold comfort..crap..no comfort at all.

She could foretell, the next scene would be her playing the leading role..crying and she hates that..especially now..she was infront of Natsume.

" Ugh! I'm telling you Natsume, get out! And please for one whole week, don't ever make me see your face, jerk!"

She could only mean those words for one whole week..not for a lifetime. She couldn't. Well.. even if Natsume would be happy not to see her for the rest of his life, it would be the other way for Mikan.

Natsume sort of cringed. Even if he has that stone heart, he can also receive pain..he can also feel it. And I wonder, did he ever think that if someone like him with a pure stone heart could be affected by pain..what more if that same pain would be wreak to someone like Mikan who has a very soft and sensitive heart? Will he be able to take back all the pain he has given away..especially to Miakn? These kinds of questions have never crossed his mind yet.

If Mikan wanted an argument..ok..now he was on it.

" Hn. Better luck next time, baka. Try making some improvements cause until now..you're still the worst," Again, he emphasized his favorite phrase. With that remark, he decided to leave. He was already opening the door when..

" I'm trying to prove that I'm not the worst like what you think Natsume," she said in a cold, serious tone.

With that, Mikan turned to the other side..and decided to have a rest, not wanting to know what would be Natsume's expression. She had enough of that unreadable face of Natsume.

Little did she know, before Natsume shut the door..completely leaving,

" Sorry..for that..," he whispered guilt-ridden and very softly that maybe even him wouldn't be able to hear if he really did not mean it.

* * *

And so for one whole week, Natsume didn't see her because she was still bedridden. It took her a long time to recover considering the fact that Natsume gave her an additional millstone by just telling and clarifying to her that he was never made to make her feel better.

One day, he was just shocked to see Mikan already seated at her place..there beside him. And he couldn't believe his eyes. Was that she for real? Or maybe a replica made by his own wishing eyes? He made a move to prove it.

" So, you're already here? Nice recovering," he teased not really having the intention of making her feel like she was not welcome there anymore.

The girl infront him had a face devoid of any clear expression.

And then she replied, " If you don't want me here, fine, I'm leaving," with her voice resonating the remnants of the pain from her yesterdays.

She never gave Natsume a chance to speak another word so she stood and walked away..proceeding to the empty space beside Hotaru. Hotaru's seatmate was not yet there luckily. At least, she could see..there was still an empty space for her to fit in aside from the world she was trying to infiltrate to be a small part of it.

" _Good, I'm not dreaming..it's her," _Natsume thought while smiling that no one has seen yet. His subject for teasing is now present. Finally, he'll have a good day.

But wait..something's wrong.

" _Is she mad? At me?" _and then he tried another move to confirm his hypothesis.

" Hn. Just make sure you're not coming back," he told her coldly.

Being familiar with Mikan, he expected her to rejoin and have a spat but she didn't. He didn't receive any word from Mikan as she continued walking until she finally sat down beside Hotaru alarming the latter a bit. But seeing Mikan's weird mood, she decided to delay her questioning.

Natsume raised his eyebrow, having a hard time absorbing the current situation.

" _What's wrong with her?"_

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**There..i don't know when will be my next update..classes will resume soon so I may not have enough time to type. Anyway..i'll still try my best. Sorry for any inconsistency in my grammar..quite confused what tense should I use..and I was not able to edit this chapter except for those typographical errors. And it was due to time constrain.**


	5. The Broken

**Sorry again for the late update..classes have just started so I need to focus first on my studies but I'm not abandoning my stories, I'll finish them as much as I could as soon as possible. But they would be updated once a month supposedly twice..but I have to divide my time between them..still..please..keep on supporting..thank you!**

After having the thought, Natsume proceeded to his seat only to find Ruka there at his side..of course someone is missing, Mikan herself. He tried to deviate his attention from Mikan's unusual attitude. Why hell bother? It is not as if he were in an intricate situation. It's only about Mikan..nothing much.

Mikan's condition was also unreadable..all her feelings and expression she used to plaster in her face were now completely sealed. She just sat there staring by the window..with her eyes quite lolled..like feeling somnolent..wistful. Hotaru wanted to inquire if there was anything that is supposed to be out of place in Mikan's life. But she remained quiet, she had to give enough time for Mikan to think.

Narumi then entered the room and sauntered infront of the class. He paced back and forth, chin-up with his school attendance sheet on his side. Oh.. well..he just had that habit of modeling first before greeting his class. Anyway, he expected them to miss him a lot since he was not always there to be their homeroom techer..remember, he has his substitute. Hearing an eerie silence, like everybody was distraught to see him there, (except the background effects of the crickets, which he wasn't sure if they were glad to see him) he faced them with a wide smile and there his own eyes were exposed only to see the whole class staring intently at him with black clouds forming above their heads. But someone made a difference..Mikan who was still unaware of Narumi's presence. And then he recalled something.

Suddenly, Mikan reluctantly shifted her gaze towards the front and found Narumi. She managed to smile a bit and then she stood limply and whispered something to Narumi. Narumi just nodded slightly agreeing with what Mikan was saying.

After that, she went back to her seat. The class was waiting for any reaction or announcement.

" Okay, uhm.. Yui-san, sorry for the bother but I'm jut requesting if you could move over there, to Anna-san's place. Thank you!" Narumi ordered her gently and then he winked, somewhat using his Human Pheromone Alice.

Poor little girl could just obey him.

" Ha-hai! Sensei!"

Narumi continued," Hotaru-san, from now on, Mikan-chan will be your seatmate and also her partner," and then he tittered.

Natsume was soused into the pool of consternation.

"_What ?"_

Hotaru was neither happy nor sad. Perhaps, the unmentioned feeling between those two. Who wouldn't be happy to know that you'll already be sitting with your best friend? That will contribute to their close bond. On the other hand, who wouldn't be sad to know that something miserable is already going on yet you don't know a thing? That will change everything.

"So, now, Mikan, what's wrong and I still need to be involved?" she finally broke her silence and asked tersely though the emotion was not clear..plain voice was used.

Mikan didn't give any verbal reply. She meekly shook her head suggesting there wasn't something wrong. She should have expected this. She knew Hotaru wouldn't want this unless she would have Hotaru's permission. But really Hotaru didn't have to be drawn in her situation with Natsume. She knew nothing aside from the truth that Natsume and she are partners..no..were partners. And Hotaru's sharp, right? How about if she questions her and forces her to admit the truth that she's already feeling the vestiges of the rejection she's feeling from Natsume?..the hell pain? What's next?

Arggh..no one can help..nothing can be of help..because that is her own problem..the problem she never made..still she is suffering from it. She doesn't deserve 's not worth it. Can she not reflect it back to Natsume? Perhaps, in her dreams, Natsume never cared for her..anyway.

Gosh, why does she have to bleed that way?

She felt like she wanted to cry. But she's strong, she knows that..it's just that..her strength is not constant.

Good thing, Narumi caught her. He was the one who responded.

" Ah, Hotaru-san..don't worry I just decided it, I mean you know I would love it to see you girls bonding together since you are best friends, right? She has nothing to do with this, she simply reminded me because I asked her. I've got memory gap these days," he explained clearly without even thinking those words that came out from his mouth. He shouldn't show any sign of tailing off. He had to be careful when conversing with Hotaru. Know why? Because what he had just said was a complete lie.

Hotaru, however, didn't believe it. It was very suspicious. Still she pretended to succumb. Of course to acquire information later on.

" Oh well, what can I do?" she shrugged.

Now, Natsume wasn't getting any point. Ok..Mikan is mad at him or what..but is that so serious that even that thin connection should be broken by her? He could still accept if she would only be ignoring him as long as she is there because he knows..that would never last for so long. But now..without Mikan by his side..being not her partner anymore..there's no more to expect. Is there any solution? Hell, should he even do a move?

And worse, why should he care? That's her life..he shouldn't mess with her life.

Yet he couldn't control himself, he must do a move, he must fix everything.

It was imperative to ask her personally.

* * *

Classes ensued with Mikan being down to the dumps making the atmosphere very heavy. Every body could notice it even Jinno-sensei. And so he intended to at least made a crack to Mikan's silence. He intended this to be a hoax actually. He's still a teacher and being one means that he should care for his student's sake. He does care about them especially now for Mikan. He's rude and strict but he has his soft heart, too. And that's what everyone should know about him.

" Sakura, answer this! I know you've been hospitalized but that's not an excuse!" he berated her..though it was all pretense.

He missed Mikan's fidgeting whenever he asked her to answer his tricky math Questions.

But he expected too much for Mikan stood without any moan of panicking, she simply went there in front. As usual, she didn't really know the answer and stood there for two minutes, staring at the board..holding the chalk that was merely breaking to half.

Jinno continued his pretense.

" If you don't know the answer then you should have just told me! We're wasting time!" he told him curtly expecting her to cry or what..to panic..to comment..to react..Geez..to have her voice out!

With that, he swayed and flung his stick directing it to Mikan..not having the intention of any offense. But electric wave came out and hit Mikan's elbow as she was already going back to her new seat. For the first time, Mikan's own nullifying alice nullified itself. Jinno was taken aback..it shouldn't result this way.

With that, Mika jolted, she tripped down, clutching the affected area..still she decided not to give a yelp..not wanting to bother her classmates even for a tick. But with her classmates' great concern of her, they approached her fast..except for Natsume. He wanted to but he deemed that Mikan could be in much pain if he were to show there..so he quietly remained sitting, still wishing her to be all right.

That caught the attention of Ruka. He knew Natsume is deeply cold but when it comes to Sakura..he usually has somersault. After all, Natsume can't really hide his concern for Mikan. Note that, even your worst enemy would also be in a state of great disturbance if something happens to you. And that exemplifies Natsume's reason for being concern about Mikan. Because she is his partner yet enemy. No more.

Hotaru glared at Jinno. How could she show some respect for this teacher when he had just hurt her precious best friend?

" Sensei..you shouldn't be doing that..you know..she's still recovering!" at least she managed to utter the word..Sensei.

And now Jinno was trapped in words. How should he explain? Admit his mistake?

" Ah..i didn't mean that..my stick..it..," faltering to speak another word for it might intensify the anger of Hotaru.

Yet he tried to regain his calmness and well..pride.

" However, she should have tried to nullify it, what's the point of being a nullifier?" he said in a bit stern voice.

And Hotaru could just stop talking. She knew she shouldn't be wasting time having words with this teacher who didn't even understand a thing about Mikan's condition that time. She then turned around and kneeled to see how Mikan was doing. And she could see..immense pain was evident in her pallid face.

Almost all of her classmates were asking her if she was fine. It was hard for them to discern what she was feeling since she was not shedding any tears. Was she even hurt? Or could she have nullified it? But still, they were worried.

Feeling the heavy atmosphere engulfing the whole area, Jinno decided to approach her, thinking if he could something to amend his mistake. He needed not to deny it. He is a teacher, Mikan is his student. So, he has the responsibility to be worried of her.

However, he just had to own it up in a play-safe way.

" Sakura, want me to bring you to the clinic? Geez, next time..you should be more alert. Make good use of your alice," and there he stated it as outright as he is. His firm voice mingled with his concern of Mikan…and it was a success.

Mikan smiled recognizing something..the feeling of concern glowing from his teacher whom she had thought of being harsh to her until the day she graduates.

And then she gave a quick reply.

" Ah..I'm fine..sensei. It's okay! I can manage," not afraid of uttering the word sensei anymore. Breaking the habit of calling him Jin-Jin.

She then gathered all her strength, slowly moving her legs, loosening her grip of her elbow, hoping her whole body would cooperate with what she wanted to do..to stand. And yeah..she did.

But then, she fell backwards.

Jinno is aware of her stubbornness especially when it concerns her own good. He thought of another thing.

" Oh..in that case, I suggest you to just go to your room later and rest. You need not to clean anymore for a whole week, but once you recover, you will have to take the punishment of not answering properly the equation I gave you and…for not following my instructions," he commanded her again.

Oh well..Mikan is such a tenacious girl.

" Ah..sensei..no..i'll clean, this injury won't stop me form doing my responsibility. It's okay," and then she smiled. Actually, it was her token of gratitude for his teacher's concern of her.

Jinno had given up.

" Well then,if you insist,"

After that phenomenal scene, their classes resumed. Hotaru bringing her medical kit bandaged the injured elbow of her best friend. Mikan coulnd't help smiling seeing Hotaru taking care of her.

And Hotaru, having the astute senses, returned a look to Mikan.

" This is not the time to smile, baka," Straight-faced, she told her.

Mikan sweat-dropped.

Natsume fixed his eyes on her. He wanted to approach her and speak to her. He needed to ask her if she was indeed okay but he is really distant- which both means cold and too far from her now- so he couldn't. He is not also blind of the has-just-been-put-up truth that Mikan is ignoring him, he wanted to help her; he needed to stay away.

One more problem, why does it concern him? What's restraining him to stay away?

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As it was expected, Mikan was left in the classroom cleaning. Hotaru somehow insisted to help her but Mikan knew..there would be a payment..and hell..it's money for sure. Mentioning the second reason, she is very indebted to her , she doesn't want to make it deeper- it 's quite too much.

Mikan was already cleaning the blackboard when Natsume appeared and startled her.

" Oh..so it's Pandas this time," he decided to have an introduction like this, referring to what he _didn't _really see. It might just catch the attention of Mikan and bring back what has been lost.

And yes..she would normally retort. But their scenario is distorted..not really abnormal..but just out of normalcy.

She stopped cleaning and quickly got her bag and made her way out of the room, passing by Natsume, pretending he never existed in her world.

" We're continuing the mission, tonight. Don't be late," he was a bit humiliated and irritated. Couldn't she just face him and give him a slap if that was what she wanted, not passing by him like that? It was hurting him terribly.

Finally, she seemed to hear Natsume's thoughts,so she stopped.

She faced her. Their eyes met. One begging for an attention that was once present in his life, and the other begging for the rejection that has been present in her life and still longing for it. They shared one thing in common, both living in pain.

Mikan started to speak," Since you can do it all alone, why don't you just do it yourself? I'm quitting," her tone was rigid, something was frozen. Yep, her longing of being near to Natsume was currently frozen.

Natsume was shocked in dismay.

" So you were daunted? As expected of you," he replied coldly..not really wanting to show any sign of being distracted or disturbed by this news.

Mikan just went away leaving without any further reaction. It was a must to break the conversation.

* * *

That night, Natsume continued the mission even without her. He was flaring up with anger. He wanted to avenge for her..for them.

Of course, Persona was aware of this, that in any moment they would launch off and have their revenge. He prepared. There was no way he would be intimidated by those brats. Since they were the ones who started it, they should be lectured..be punished to death..by him..only.

Then, he heard a thump. It was Natsume's feet.

They began a fight. Natsume had gone berserk. Because of Persona, Mikan was hospitalized, he was pissed off, Mikan's ignoring him, and he was fighting without her. It seemed like all the devil knots scattered in Natsume's rope of sanity was made by this sinner.

He reached his peak but he had to stop. He coughed blood. He was overusing Alice, he panted for air.

It was already the kiss of death for Natsume in Persona's view.

" Uh-oh, it's over now, Black cat. I thought you could be more excellent than that since I trained you. But I'm still far better than you," he gave him a deadly laugh.

Natsume tried to attack him again with his fire but he was really feeling weak that time. For the first time, he needed help as soon as possible.

Persona came approaching.

" Now, you will regret fighting me on your own, you will be like your partner, I assure you," stating a conclusion without any hypothesis.

Natsume could just want to run but he couldn't for two reasons: He is never a coward and his legs couldn't really be of any assistance that time. He felt like he wanted to give in, he just wanted to fall and become unconscious. In that way, he could be free from tasting his own death in the hands of Persona. How could he fight when what he was trying to fight for wasn't even obtainable?

Persona was now ready to touch his shoulder and corrode his body. They were only a meter apart.

Running with her legs trembling, pushing all her force to the limit, Mikan stood between them and pushed Natsume away from Persona. Since Persona had already conditioned himself to corrode someone, he had no reflexes to pull back his hand or even if he had, I doubt he would do that. And there, his hand laid on Mikan's shoulder instead. His alice was activated.

The moment was so fast.

Natsume was very scared to see that while Persona was very happy, and Mikan was emotionless.

They were waiting for the result when a big circle of intense power blew Persona away making him hit a tree with a large impact, he coughed blood, and blood was lining his forehead.

" This..is..not..the..end..yet…not..yet," he still managed to threaten them before getting away. He needed to recover. He promised himself, he would not be of sight for a meantime..to give them..a thrilling finale.

Mikan smiled with the result. She didn't know why..but with the course of events, she knew there was a reason for that. First, why did her legs bring her to that place? Was it a coincidence or simply inevitable? It was some kind of a premonition that something bad would happen to Natsume..to her heart.

Second, how come she was able to nullify such a dangerous alice when she wasn't even able to nullify Jinno's alice lately? Is her alice connected to her feelings? Maybe. Because this time, she had a strong sense of wanting to protect someone..not herself.

Third, why were they both smiling and looking at each other? Has it just mean a tendency of a new beginning for them?

Mikan then broke her smile.

_Never, the rope connecting them has just been broken altogether, the gap between them has just been expanded infinitely._

Because..that was the end. They seemed to have the victory over Persona already. No more commitment should pursue. They reached the end.

**If that's how they put it.**

" Good, you are of help," Natsume remarked.

" Let's go back now," she just told him seriously.

Natsume tried to stand but he couldn't maintain his balance. Mikan saw him helpless. Pity crept up to her, as well as _what?, _so she assisted him_. _She put his upper limb and rest it on her right shoulder, her other hand holding Natsume's lower back. She helped him walk. They trudged their way back to the academy without any word to each other. Mikan was not bothered much by their proximity, it was just a gesture of assistance. But Natsume was enjoying it. He did nothing but to stare at Mikan..and smiling gently.

He must admit he missed her so much. He wished she missed him, too.

**I actually don't want to leave it this way..but I'm tired of typing..it's already 1 am here. So there, next time, I'll make it longer to make up for my absence. But I'm already running out of ideas so it might take time. By the way, Yui is just a random name..can't think of something else. Sorry for the wrong grammar.**


	6. The Truth

**Hi there! Sorry to keep you waiting!School stuffs are always on my way. Here..another uhm..boring chapter..but just read until the end..i beg you..because I did my best to break the monotony of the boredom. Please keep on supporting!leave a review..thank you!

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"Kaoru, have you thought of a new plan?" Yuka asked wearily because she spent her whole day thinking of new plans for Natsume and Mikan's relationship to level up a bit and work out at least. Yet she didn't succeed and she couldn't think of a reason why that brain of hers wasn't functioning correctly when it was supposed to be an efficient machine.

The worst answer she could expect has arrived.

"Not yet," Kaoru slumped her shoulders..also tired of generating new ideas when she was starting to entertain the thought that maybe they hadn't had a very good idea after all- the idea of being THEM together.

Yuka could just heave out a sigh. What more could she expect now?

But as always, determination makes impossible things work..makes your dysfunctional brain returns to its sole position and purpose. And this happened in Yuka's dark moment.

" Don't worry..i already have!" she blurted out with a burning spirit hopeful that this time everything will work out perfectly…that they will finally sow what they deserve from what they have already reaped..from all those hardships and sacrifices..from all of those efforts they've been exerting-if they can even count those to be worthy of what they are trying to achieve. Pushing THEM to be together is like attracting two magnets with like poles or attracting a magnet to the other which has already been demagnetized.

Kaoru then jumped from the couch she was resting onto and happily sat beside Yuka on the sofa adjacent the couch.

They started to talk. They started to impart more ideas that would facilitate the new plan. Speaking generally, they started again.

The intensity of their interests towards the plan has been raging that they were already like soaring in their own clouds when suddenly Yuka cao8ught a glimpse outside through her glass window.

The scene depicted the two…with Natsume's upper limb resting on Mikan's right shoulder while Mikan's hand holding Natsume's lower back.

Yuka had a misconception about the flash in her eyes.

"Oh..look..Kaoru..it's improving," she said in a voice which describes the feeling aloft..her eyes were again sparkling..shimmering-the very reason why she didn't soon notice the expression her daughter was wearing, ….deadpan without any hint of the slightest happiness.

"…we better go there..," she partly agreed but she knew there was something wrong that she immediately urged her nest friend to go there right away. Something was really not right.

Yuka quickly went downstairs brought by excitement and Kaoru did the same brought by uneasiness.

They soon were already by the entrance door waiting for the two.

And when they were already walking nearer and nearer…Yuka's painted smile crushed.

Kaoru's vision was right.

Hell…another problem has emerged. If I were the viewer of the film, I would have expected that after that is THE END.

"Natsume, what happened?" Kaoru ran over to them and helped Natsume to walk on his own. She hadn't had time to thank Mikan for assisting her son.

"Persona…I continued the mission even without Polka," Natsume told the truth but he never had any intention of making Mikan take the blame. He just had to affix the phrase…"without Polka." Well, he needed to without a particular known reason.

However, this made Mikan to be irate. She thought of something she shouldn't have, like " He was again blaming me..slapping me with 'how stupid I am', hell…he hated me this much."

She does easily misunderstand Natsume's words.

"Really, Mikan? You didn't go with him? Why? What's wrong?" Yuka bombarded her with these questions that she took as frustrating.

Mikan knew she had the right to be mad that time because they were making it look like everything was her fault but then she realized it was indeed her fault…she was guilty.

Natsume caught her.

"But anyway, she saved me, she managed to nullify Persona's alice before he was able to touch me," Natsume told them with a tepid tone.

He is after all emotionless all the time which makes it the very reason why people misunderstand his thinking..his conveyance of his feeling.

"Oh..thank you!Mikan-chan!" Kaoru finally had the time to thank her and then she hugged her tight full of warm appreciation.

" Thank goodness! I'm glad you're both fine," Yuka was to shed a tear of relief but it didn't run down her face until it just dried up.

"I'm sorry, you have been risking your lives just for the sake of the mission," Kaoru then spilled out her regrets. As a mother, who wouldn't feel any regret for making your children do dangerous mission to fulfill your satisfaction and expectation?

" Glad you know it," Natsume then replied with his infamous smirk.

"Don't worry, we'll stop this mission as soon as possible-," Yuka left her statement hanging at least to give the two some chill of delight since they both detest each other and the fact that they would be separated was indeed a luck.

She was about to continue it so not to prolong the delight-if they were even feeling it-because she was aware that it would turn into disappointment with what she was to reveal, when Mikan reacted to her first statement.

" Good, Mom, I'm also quitting the mission, I'm ready to take the punishment," she said blankly but with full willpower.

Natsume threw a glance towards her. He just simply couldn't believe it. He had to react, too.

"Hn. Yes, so I'm free now? Good," he dared to ask. It wasn't even good for him..to be free. First, he was never used to it since her mother was no one but the boss. Second, no more subject to tease with if that would happen which would substantially contribute to the ennui he feels in life. Third, he can't just stay away from Mikan thought he really hasn't known yet the main reason why he can't. Something invisible keeps on attaching him to her. He can't control it. Anyway, he is willing.

" Of course not!" Yuka and Kaoru answered in unison.

Natsume couldn't just contend the happiness he was feeling. It wasn't the end. No worries. He then looked at Mikan . He saw what he never wished to see from Mikan. She was in a deep rage..in agony. Heck, why?

"We have new mission for you," Yuka revealed cheerfully.

"We won't stop until we succeed!" Kaoru then said her part with the same energy as Yuka's.

"Hell..can you not just accept the fact that we'll never be what you're dreaming of?" Natsume was speaking for Mikan. He knew this was what Mikan had to say or a part of what she had to say.

But Mikan's words are far way worse than what he seemed to expect.

Mikan was in no way born to maintain her calmness even when a need is to exist. She was in no way used to control her temper even when a person's feeling is at stake. She was in no way to stand in every way the people surrounding her expect her to do. Because, with this situation, she could no longer do it…could no longer stand it.

"Mom, I can't do this mission anymore. It's no use. He's right…," she waveringly looked at Natsume who was wearing a worried, gentle face yet it wasn't the right time to think of _why?_ And then she continued," We're both different persons, we can't be what you think..we're not even friends. He hates me and I hate him as much as he does or even more. Our situation is just getting worse and I'm tired of everything, mom. I'm hell tired," she concluded with a feeble voice..having a hard time explaining her side.

It was hard on her part because she never really wanted to give it up. She never really wished to be away from Natsume. It was difficult..very heartbreaking..to admit her own pain…to admit the truth..that HE hates her. It was not easy to pretend that she hates him,too because as of what her heart was able to comprehend…Hatred is not what it is feeling. Something is yet to be defined.

Yuka and Kaoru stood there speechless of what they heard. Natsume couldn't make a move either. He didn't even know if he were in the right position to lift even a single move. Crap, he didn't even know what should he feel.

Mikan then ran and ran until she reached her favorite spot, the Sakura tree. This place has lots of memories she wanted to delete..or at least bury them deeply. She wanted to shove away anything that reminds her of Natsume because everything about him causes her pain.

Yet it's still unclear why she feels such kind of pain.

She could do nothing but to succumb…she needed to shed tears or else she wouldn't be able to move on.

Silence enveloped the whole area with her sobs that complemented the grave atmosphere.

Until someone spoke.

"You're ignoring me," Natsume told her in an oblivious bitter tone. He was standing infront of Mikan ready to block her in case she thought of running.

Mikan was shocked that she quickly wiped her tears. Hell, he was able to see his weak point. It was a shame on her.

She suddenly thought of something to answer…anything that would just fill up the blank space provided for her answer.

"Oh..i forgot this is your favorite spot.I should be going," she stood hoping this would make Natsume satisfied. Natsume's aura was different. It wasn't the cool one that would normally just let everything to slip out of his hand. This caused Mikan to be tense. So, she needed to go away as soon as possible. She was not in the need of having an argument with him.

"You didn't answer me," his voice was radiating anger and concern.

Mikan could feel Natsume's eyes intensely fixated on her. She knew what Natsume wanted. And she knew what she herself needed.

Mikan raised her head and looked at Natsume's eyes. Both were searching for each other's answer. They both wanted it to be clear..to be settled before everything closes between them.

" As I said, I'm tired of everything, Natsume. I'm tired of our fights..the mission..and I'm tired of you telling me how idiotic I am..that I'm the worst!" she yelled with a stream of tears springing from her hazel orbs.

"Don't blame me..because you know…. you really are," Natsume has his own way and this was one. He wanted to provoke her so that she could say every dire thing about him..so that she could spill out all the anger she was feeling for him..so that after this..she could have a sense of peace and would eventually forget about him. If this is what she needed.

Mikan shot a glaring look at him.

" And I'm tired of feeling your coldness…tired of thinking why and how the hell your words and actions affect me this much..hurt me this much? And I don't even know why! And you…you..you…you don't even know how I feel yet..you..you always…inflict me the same pain every day," she trailed off. She was feeling a bit humiliated of what she had just said. She had just proved how stupid she is…how weak she is when it comes to him.

Natsume wanted to stop this as much as possible…to stop the flow of the pain Mikan feels. He hasn't seen exactly how much pain has he caused her. How numb of him to overlook the feelings of the woman he cares for.

But he can't just control himself from being cold…from being heartless.

" But still..you'll be with me according to their plan..," he was now looking downward. He can't stand to see Mikan's tainted face.

" Yes…and I hate it!i hate the mission..i hate my life..i hate you! So stop coming around like you give a hell care why I'm ignoring you and making me feel like forever I'll be stuck with you.. you don't know anything…so stay away..pretend that I never exist in your life..for once..let me live the life I should deserve..i shouldn't be in pain..i should be happy," she pleaded with a more serious tone..the tears that were rushing lately have been suppressed from falling. She decided not to take their situation emotionally anymore. She needed to calm down.

" Oh..so you don't have a happy life, huh? Tch. How pity..," Natsume remarked seeing that Mikan was regaining her composure. He assumed that everything would be back to the usual. And so, he meant this to be actually a joke.

Yet he couldn't deny that he was also hurt by Mikan's sharp words. Now he knew how much it feels to be ostracized by the person you care for.

" I'll never have it as long as you're here," Mikan concluded detachedly with a piercing look onto Natsume as she walked away.

" Oh….that hurts," Natsume muttered under his breath with his bangs covering his eyes, wishing Mikan would know. But that… could no longer happen starting from that point.

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**There. My goal was to make it a lengthy chapter..like 4000 words or more but i can't cause i need to sleep now. Sorry for my grammar and misspelled words. I was not able to edit this since I was really in a hurry to submit. I can't say when will be my next update…I need to prepare for my exams and contests and I still need to update my other two stories…but I'll try to update as soon as possible. Until next time!thanks for reading!**


	7. The Change

**Thank you for the continued support and for the reviews and favorites and story alerts. I appreciate them very much .Thank you guys!**

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" _I'll never have it as long as you're here,"_

Why does it still sting him that much? It has been a month and a half already and he has not been given the chance to let go..to obliterate those words that marked him a scar.

On the other side, as if he cared that much. Those words my have stung him that much but in line with his narcissism, and so what? He just had to admit that there are two kinds of words here on Earth. The sweet ones and the bitter or the harsh or the cruel. It was just that he received the latter.

Well, anyone undergoes the same situation. He was aware of the truth that nobody can please everybody. And he assured himself that he's not living to please anyone especially to please this "annoying girl" who didn't even think of a nicer way or more specifically didn't even choose more play safe words to speak.

But as an addition to that "sting" thing, it seemed like actions really speak more than words. Hell, if that's the case then actions hurt more than words in a way – contrary to the belief of some that words are more like murderers when it comes to the battlefield which deals and involves our feelings.

Yet if we allow this thought to permeate our mind for some time, wouldn't this prove that sometimes actions hurt more than the words do? Look, if for example, your crush, the heartthrob of your school, says he loves you. What will you feel? Perhaps ecstatic. But his actions don't speak his words. Like you know, he can't even talk to you in front of a throng because he thinks it will be a shame on his part for having a crush on someone "like you" and you don't even know how to define that phrase, "someone like you". Does he mean it in a good way or in a bad way? Most of the time, we take it wrongly..no..not wrongly..because later on, it will still show that it truly is – in a bad way.

So, doesn't it hurt? Okay, that is for the positive-negative side. How about for the negative-negative side?

Like in Natsume and Mikan's case, Mikan told him harsh words that would be too long to mention. In short she hates him. And those words were actually being proven by Mikan herself.

That is a double disaster for Natsume.

Ever since that day, he tried to stay in touch with Mikan but not in an obvious way that Mikan would surely shove him away. It was more like, always attempting to bump onto her, tease her..the simple tease on her undies. And well, burning her locks. But never had Mikan glared at him the way it was before.

Natsume received the complete treatment of being shunned and it vexed him to hell. He was actually drowning in pain…scratch that. As for now, that might be not the best phrase to describe his feeling, it was more like, he couldn't contain it anymore.

Yes, he could no longer contain this pain. Especially, when he sees Mikan having fun time. It was not he didn't like her to be happy or to have fun. It was the very thing that she seemed to be unaffected of this ruckus. Maybe she really meant all the words she lashed out. Maybe she did hate him all this time.

And maybe there was no more chance of settling everything, Natsume thought.

Kaoru and Yuka had their ways be out of Mikan's and Natsume's ways for a while, they must have learned a lesson.

But take note: it doesn't end there.

* * *

One time, when Natsume lost control of his sanity, while Mikan was walking on the hallway, he caught Mikan's wrist and tried to bring her somewhere to have a talk with her. But Mikan screamed saying that she was being harassed by this pervert Natsume Hyuuga.

Of course nobody would believe that, almost all the girls wanted to be touched by Natsume and then Mikan would just scream saying she was being harassed. Man, she must be grateful.

Yet, as a teacher, Narumi immediately went out of their homeroom and chased after them until he was able to grab Natsume's shoulders that halted him. Mikan freed herself and slapped Natsume hard.

" How dare you?" Mikan snapped. At this expression, one would think that she was really harassed, as these words are mostly spoken by those who are victimized. Yet she never meant it to be that way. This was her way of saying " how dare you touch me after all those times you hurt me? how dare you enter my life again then ruin it? How dare you?"

Natsume understood by just looking into her eyes, he knew he disappointed her. The vast space between them has just been expanded. And the span of chance that they would be somehow be together again had just shortened.

" I'm sorry," he said feeling crestfallen and ran away.

Narumi looked at the two with concern written all over his face. He was sure, they had a conflict. And he could feel the presence of hatred looming over Mikan. He feared this. He had been watching these two for some time now from the very beginning including their cat-dog fights. And he sensed that fate brought them together to save each other from their own weaknesses and miseries. But with this situation taking place, he could be wrong.

" Are you all right, Mikan? You can lean on me," he gently caressed Mikan's head. Mikan then did as what she was told to. She leaned on Narumi's chest. Again, in the process of stopping those tears that should be dead .

Hell, Natsume made her shed the tears that were once dead.

" Narumi-sensei, thank you," she sniffled quietly as much as possible. Not wanting to unlock her weak part again.

It should be over.

With that condition going, Natsume didn't show up for a week. And everybody was freaking worried if not for Ruka who informed them that Natsume had just locked himself in his room but it wasn't that grave. He said that Natsume just needed a "rest".

In reality, these were not the words of Natsume.

" _Ruka, I just need some rest and space for a while,"_

But Ruka knew better. If he were to mention the word "space" then everybody would have the notion that Mikan was involved especially with the commotion that they caused a week ago. Ruka wouldn't want that and he knew Natsume wouldn't, too. They had to keep the problem personal.

Oh yes, Mikan was sort of bothered also by Natusme's sudden absence. She suddenly thought of Natsume being on missions and having serious injuries that may end his life for good. Oh..crap…what was she thinking? Natsume couldn't end up being like that. She could feel that Natsume was fine..yeah..he actually was..physically.

Few days later, he finally appeared. Mikan really felt relieved to see him in a good condition as in with no bruises or cuts or any telltale sign of suffering or ache.

That Natsume was already there andthat he was physically fine brightened Mikan's day. She didn't even want to know and doubt why she was feeling that weird thing. But it really got the hell out of her… literally.

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After class, she stayed longer. It was not that she really wanted to, she was a cleaner that day and if she wouldn't be responsible enough, she'd be dead. When her group mates already left, she sat down her desk contemplating the recent events between her and Natsume. Between her heart and her brain.

Being sentimental or dramatic again, she guessed. It shouldn't have turned that way, she thought. It was better before they became partners. They were just fighting and fighting and fighting like they would bring the whole terra to an end. That time was less prone to a critical condition. Because those were just childish fights, weren't they? They never gave meanings to those.

They just simply hate each other. The hate that doesn't hurt both sides and either side. It is the hate that sometimes just roots out of misunderstanding or superficial acts or conflicts with very minor negative effects.

Moreover, before, she was not familiar of her feelings yet. Now she does.

Whether she likes it nor not, believes it or not..she concluded that she has special feelings towards Natsume. This special feeling that currently deprives her of the happiness she deserves, well, if it wasn't for this lingering feeling, she could just go out and pick a fight with Natsume and that would make her day..her happiness at the ground state.

Now, she couldn't even look at him. At a distance, yes, when she finishes ascertaining that she won't be seen by anyone especially by Natsume.

She also thought of arranging things with him. Why not forgive, right? It has been almost two months. If time would be considered, 2 months or let's say one and a half months is quite a long time already.

That would be the case if it were a simple problem. The problem was it wasn't. Two months may be longer but not enough to mend the wounds left by what they call affection or love. May it be love towards your parents, towards your friends, or even towards someone you don't even know.

And one more thing, why does she have to let her pride down? Why can't he? After all, this was his entire fault. But she had her shares of mistakes, too. It would be unfair for Natsume if she would just blame it on him.

Hell, they're not even on a relationship and she's acting and thinking like a woman or a wife saving that nonexistent thing; doing everything to save the relationship that was not even there at all.

After thinking all of these heartrending thoughts, she decided to take a rest. So she stood and locked their homeroom's door.

She was walking with her head down, when she bumped onto someone. Yep, onto someone not onto something for if she had, she could be in the hospital for weeks for having lost much blood for bumping onto a wall or statues or anything hard.

Fate is really there always in attendance to help the two mend the broken fences.

" You better watch your steps, idiot," Natsume remarked with his famous smirk. He missed this, really. He just hoped Mikan would also retort. That would be an indication of getting grip of the past..of returning the way things were before, wouldn't it?

But Mikan just glared at him. A part of her wanted to retort of course, it was her innate characteristic yet if she were to give in to that part then, this whole thing would be over. Over..yes… and then what? They never know what would happen next so it was better to stay still, to let it go this way.

Now Mikan used her thinking on how to get out of that place. If she would persist in traveling the way she was taking, it couldn't give her certainty that she would be able to pass without confronting Natsume. But that's the shortcut to her room. In about 5 minutes, she could get there. The other option was, turning around and then running towards the back door and then heading towards the main door, upstairs, till she gets to her room. But that would take about 10 minutes. And if she wouldn't be lucky, Natsume could catch up with her.

Okay, so better deem this as a dangerous situation. And it required a lot of thinking…and of course the will to survive.

Did she have it..that will to survive and run away again?

Mikan pushed him away and was on her track of turning around but as she partly expected, Natsume blocked her way again.

" Look, I really don't see what's your point of ignoring me.. I know you can't," he taunted her. He knew the reason and actually he was fed up with her reason- she hates him. Still, every little thing can be stepping stones to his aim.

" To be happy of course," she returned the same intensity of tone.

" I've given you almost two months and never have I seen you happy," still cold and serious as ever.

" How can you say I'm not happy?" she queried like a detective.

" Because you no longer paint those smiles,"

" My smiles? And so what if they do not show ? Smile is not the best indication of happiness. One can just smile even if happiness was never there..you know,"

" That's it..like you. You smile most of the time, but I could tell they're fake. Not the real ones like when – "

"So what's your point?" he's getting into her nerves. She barely knew what he was aiming at.

" That I'm your happiness," he sneered. Natsume was kind of taking advantage of Mikan. He really knows how to manipulate her with her… oh well…admirable features, as he sees it.

" Isn't that right, polka-dots?"

" Hell..no!" now she has had enough. Know why? Because maybe he hit it..that point. Mikan couldn't just really accept it herself that whatever happens, Natsume forsooth is her happiness. He really is a genius. Hell..

She shoved him away which he allowed. Natsume had won this battle. At least he was able to make a little crack on the wall between them that Mikan continuously makes .

And with his punch line..

" Don't worry, you're not alone..i'm not happy, too," Natsume's voice and tone were filled with solitude and despair. Mikan could feel it.

That's why she opted to look back to prove her assumption..to meet those eyes..but he already walked away.

* * *

Mikan was still thinking of the confrontation when she suddenly noticed that her room was locked. Locking her room is not her habit unless it's needed. Yet she didn't recall anything in emergency for her to lock her room. Someone must have locked it on purpose. She searched for her keys on her bag but they weren't there. Yeah, she left them inside her room.

She called her Mom.

" Mom, have you by any chance, taken my keys? My room was locked, did you do it?" he questioned her mother with a hint of suspicion.

" Oh..Mikan dear, I'm busy here. Just come here, at your no-star room..do you remember? Your first room here in the academy," Yuka sounded so excited.

" Eh? Why? Why are you there and what am I going to do there?"

" If you want the keys, then better come," Yuka's last line and then she hung her phone.

What other options did she have? None. So Mikan went there.

As she was nearing the door, something appeared to her in a strange way. She just had some hunch that something was to happen.

She opened the door and took few steps inside. It was dark so she fumbled for the switch and then she clicked it open. When the lights came in, Yuka wasn't even there.

Then next thing she saw shocked her and scared her. Natsume was there lying unconscious on the bed. She couldn't even tell whether Natsume really was sleeping soundly or he was knocked down.

Then the door suddenly closed behind her.

* * *

**Ok..another lackluster chapter. You may find some phrases which were inappropriately used. Again, I apologized; I just love playing with words. And still the consistency of verb tense and grammar . What more..the chapter itself. But the next one would be interesting as I can foresee it but the problem is I don't know when will be my next update. I've been busy for weeks and I have 2 other stories to update.**

**Leave a review. Please! Thank you! **


	8. The Room

**Oh my! Time is running out! and sorry for being lazy enough to update and revise my stories as what i promised before..sorry..i'm still kind of busy with chores...haha.**

**To be frank, i've completely lost my interest in this story ( and it was my first story here..hell). When i was composing the plot in my mind when i was 13 or 14, i was pretty sure that this story would have the best plot, given that it was coming from a tyro like me. But due to the long time differences between each update, i think i lost my memories..and yeah..that was a fault on my part. Moreover, it already contains 7 chapters and still not that much reviews...though i cannot blame the readers who accidentally clicked on this and just got bored. Somehow, i'm really glad and grateful to those who reviewed this and for the faves and alerts! I may not mention you here but you're names are carved in my heart. Love yah guys! **

**If ever there is someone who's saddened by my speech...no i'm not saying goodbye to this story yet. This chapter is a fragment of the supposedly next chapter but since i was really disheartened, i didn't present the whole.**

**I would love to hear you out, my dear readers...i'm open for suggestions! and please help me rekindle that passion for this story.**

**When that happens, i'm gonna update and continue this all the way to the the end. :)**

* * *

When Mikan saw Natsume, she suddenly didn't know what kind of action should be taken. By the word kind, she meant the course of action to be taken. Rough or smooth – and she didn't know where and when those words came out! But one thing was for sure: she had to do something about it. And then the minute came when her wildest fear arrived. Know why? Natsume suddenly stirred in his sleep, and now Mikan certainly knew what that signified. It signified chaos. Once Natsume awakened from his deep slumber, he would see Mikan. And then there would be what they call confrontation. NATSUME WOULD PRESS THE TOPIC of Mikan's shunning. And then in time, she might be able to spill her deeper than the deepest ocean secret, and when that happened, well, she would be doomed. She would never have even the briefest access to Natsume's thoughts. She would never be able to cross his windows. She, by any means, would never ever calculate the probability of Natsume understanding the situation, given that his mind was no ordinary.

The biggest and most dangerous thing was, in a simplified way, this: Would he be able to understand what she was going to say ,accept it and with the least chance be able to return it with that same intensity and with that same affection? But well, if not, then the long time expectation would certainly happen.

Natsume might just tease her or use this lame reason to play with her. Play not necessarily in a dirty manner. But, of course in a painful way.

Still struggling to get a grip of her feelings, she warned herself.

"So better avoid it if you know it's going to happen, right, Mikan?" and then she breathed in for a moment, effectively calming herself, but she almost forgot that she needed to breathe out.

Minutes ticked by and the moon was slowly shedding and sharing a thin ray of its luminous light through the 12-inch television sized window barred with rigid iron grills.

Natsume moved again with the indication of nearly opening his eyes and granting the first person he could see a death glare and a death wish. Why? Because he would blame everything to that lucky person. That person would be the subject and receiver of Natsume's rage for being brought there without his consent.

So what she did was kind of obvious in a weird way. Just as before Natsume was able to see her there standing and trembling in her knees, Mikan quickly ran to the closet and though it was sort of narrow for a teenager like her in her 18th year well, for her petite body it had to be wide enough. With silent persistence of pushing herself inward the closet, she quietly closed it as gently as she could so not to arouse the attention of Natsume half-awake that time. Inside the closet, she could only hear her own breath which didn't have a regular pace that time.

She could just watch the peaceful sleeping face of Natsume behind that bar space - the line of separation in her vocabulary - and now she didn't know if she should still pursue with that feeling driving her crazy. She never deserved that feeling as much as it never deserved to hurt someone like her especially if it was just because of someone like Natsume, who never failed to be given credits and cognomen, cold as an ice. Yeah, he might even be colder than a solid frigid ice.

She wandered in her thoughts and the main subject was how to carry out her plan to escape. It didn't matter to her whether it would be a success story or just a fluke. She should be able to escape. She closed her eyes envisioning the first step.

Meanwhile, Natsume now jerked up off his bed and was really shocked to see and know where he was. He was still a bit tipsy but that wasn't the first to prioritize - he wasn't in his bedroom..and that was like… hell. And he remembered what place this was, not to mention whose place was it: Mikan's. Her first room. To make it clear, he was never, by any chance, acquainted to this fusty, dusty, discarded room due to his visits to Mikan. There wasn't even a word like friendly that he wanted to affix as an adjective to visit because really, there was no such thing.

He then came to his senses how he ended up unconscious here. Kaoru called him and said that there was something that happened needing an immediate response from him. Though, he suspected his mom's cunning action, he entertained it but not fain, mind you. He darted off here as what he was told and met up with his mom. He remembered having drunk the juice offered by her. And that was the last scene banked in his mind before it went busted. He never thought he could actually be called a gull for this incident.

" Tch. I'm not that dimwit. If I am here then….," he started then looked around the place – a medium sized bed with a clean bed cover and a pillow, a chair, a broken light bulb which in a way he could see with that piece of light, and finally a closet which was partly opened. The line of separation of the two closed doors of it gave a quickview of something moving.

As he approached it, he realized that spending the night with the stranger solitude would be something uncalled for.

He opened the cabinet with such force that Mikan could swear it was the doing of a gale.

" You would also be here," he then simpered at Mikan and looked at her almost savagely.

Mikan's eyes flew open and she was shell-shocked to see his _beast_ and felt a frisson. Thanks to fate for bringing and locking them up together there. Hell, she could just dream of the undreamed of.

" Oh, so this is your hideout. Very clever..duffer," he told her dryly.

No answer from Mikan who couldn't still believe her eyes. She could just feel her flagging self.

" You want to sit there all night? Fine. I just hoped you didn't plan to trap me here, too," he turned around, paused and walked towards his previous place.

Finally.

" No, it's not me, I'm just trapped here, too, FYI! Who would want to be stuck with you?" she found a way to overcome her previous state and that was by shrieking.

" You," he looked at her nailing her at her place.

Mikan wanted to fight those eyes to return that force engulfing her with her very own eyes but she couldn't..she would melt.

" I wonder why old women never learn their lessons. Say, why don't you do _that _again?" he twitted her and by the word _that_, Mikan knew it very well.

" The hell I won't! You think, I'll do it for you? You wish!" she was no longer aware of what she was saying and this was the side-effect of his constant thoughts of Natsume. She actually misheard and misunderstood Natsume. Did he even say, it would be for him?

" For me? Polka, you're aging. I think you need those hearing aids. Anyway, you're no longer willing to do that again because you don't want to be separated from me again..okay..that perfectly makes sense,"

" What are you –"

" Fine, you want us to be close?" he came nearer and nearer towards her until they were just a ruler apart.

" How close?" he leaned closer but Mikan, with both hands, pushed him hard and scooted to the edge of the bed.

She was speechless for a while.

" _Wew..that was close," _she nervously thought. She was also blushing but was just unseen for being outshone by darkness.

" Are you on drugs? Wha..why are we talking to each other anyway?" she knew it was a stupid question to throw but she believed that it was up to him if he would catch it or not.

" Cracking a joke? Don't pretend, it's because we both want to," he put his hands inside his pockets and started towards her again. He wouldn't let her slip like this unless they had a real one-on-one talk, not twaddle.

" Don't go nearer," she started moving, planning to jump on the bed and then run towards the door, make heavy knocks, scream for help when Natsume shifted direction. He headed to the opposite edge of the bed. It seemed like he managed to read her plans.

" I hate you," she added. She hated him for making her feel like an idiot..like a joke.

Natsume just sat on the bed and continued staring at her.

Mikan suddenly noticed that the area was becoming dimmer and darker so she scanned the area for switches and immediately proceeded to where one was fixed. However, it wasn't functioning. She went to the window to call for help but it had iron grills and a thick glass that no available object there could break it. Perhaps even Natsume's flames wouldn't do it even if he cooperated.

Simply put, they were stranded. And there were just the two of them.

She heard Natsume's chuckle and she turned to face him.

" What is it?" she asked.

" Looking for a way out?" he questioned. It was just that he didn't know that Mikan wasn't fully aware of their whole situation yet, that they were perfectly locked and stranded there.

" Don't talk to me!" she twirled.

" Okay, I'll stay in bed, you on the floor," Natsume said and Mikan took it seriously since he humorlessly said it, as what she could perceive.

" Yeah…I don't mind, just don't bother me when I'm asleep," and then gave that hmph! look.

" Like, I'll even let you have a sound sleep,"

* * *

**Have you noticed that my writing style has changed? Well, i don't know why. Uhm...can you give me reviews, story/author alerts and faves? Thank you! So, I'll be waiting for your messages! Oh, i do hope...you'll read this.**

**Just in case, you know my story Gestures of Reassurance...about the sequel...I've been thinking about it and hasn't come up with the plot yet..gomen...but i promise..i'll do it. For Thread of Affliction and Shadows of Before, let me refresh the details. Hope, the interest is still there. Sorry for posting it here.**


	9. SORRY

Dear Readers,

Before anyone says, WHAT? NO, I am not deleting this story or discontinuing it, leaving it hanging. I can never be someone who abandons everything and easily leave things behind. However, I am very sorry to disappoint you for expecting that this is a chapter update.

I just want to say goodbye for awhile. See my profile.

Thank you for the continued support for my works even if they just drag on and on. Thank you for giving me the inspiration to write even when I have nothing to share but lame chapters. Thank you for ignoring my grammatical and technical errors. Thank you for everything.

And I hope I can stay but...yeah..this is life.

This story will also undergo revision, though, not now. I have to take care of something else before I can visit this site again. And that's what hurts the most: when your NEED and WANT collide, because that's the time you'll feel how hard it is to decide.

Love yah, guys!

Until the next time,

Ashia Yifei


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